Keeping Up with the Kardashians

I hit an all time low last night. I was so exhausted from the endless day (see previous post). In addition to the kid's crazy antics, they also fought all. day. long. I was worn out by 8:00. So while Lee put Sloan to bed, I turned on the TV while folding about 15 loads of laundry. Guess what? There's nothing on TV on Tuesday nights. So, going against my better judgement, I allowed myself to get sucked into an E! True Hollywood Story about the Kardashian family. And when that went off, I started watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. There it is...my confession of the day. And, if I'm being honest, I should say that I was actually enjoying watching this show. Sorry to any of you who may enjoy. Don't mean to dis (diss?), but honestly, what a ridiculous show!

Lee came in around 9:15 and saw me laying near comatose on the couch, my brain almost visibly turning to mush. "What are you watching?" he asked. Through my stupor, I could sense the laughter in his voice. I lifted the remote. "Please help me," I said. Lee gladly took it out of my hand and changed the channel, saving me from further subjecting myself to that nonsence. I went to bed shortly after that, hoping and praying for a better day.

Today started off early yet again, with me in a crappy mood, yet again. By about 7:30 this morning, I realized that I needed to get over myself and move on. So my kids get up early - big deal. I realized that it actually makes the morning run much smoother. We are not rushed at all. We take our time getting ready and eating breakfast - and we're still all dressed and ready to go by 8:00, which gives the kids some play time before school. This is a good thing. If I got my lazy butt in bed before 10:30 or 11:00 every night, the early mornings would probably be less painful. So that's my new goal. Go to bed earlier and wake up happier. Oh, and I'm praying that the Lord would give me joy in my serving, because I'm not feeling joyful these days - I'm feeling annoyed. I'm tired and selfish and I just want to crawl into bed and be left alone. But, that's not an option so I'm choosing to grow up, accept the strength of the Lord and quit relying on my own, be a little more disciplined in my life and enjoy serving my family. We'll see how the next few days go since Lee is out of town until Friday night.

Tia Tales and more

Our daughter has always been an awesome sleeper, and she still is - but she wakes up at the crack of dawn and she is very quiet. This morning, I thought I heard her open her door, but wasn't sure since I hardly slept at all last night due to Landon...more on that later. Finally, around 6:30, I heard a bang and tears. I ran out into the living room and was horrified at what I saw. Apparently the little scavenger decided it would be a good idea to get into the formula and carry it through the house. There was a fine dusting of formula everywhere! And perfect little footprints walking through it. It was a mess. I'm not sure how she pulled it off exactly, but she managed to cover almost every floor we have with a perfect covering of formula. Oh yeah, and apparently the crash I heard was her dropping the can...on the dog. Sadie then tried to lick the formula off her coat. A little quiz for you: What happens to formula when it gets wet? Does it
A) dissolve
B) turn into a glue like paste
C) get slimy

The correct answer? B. If you saw Sadie now you'd notice that she has leaves and dirt stuck to her back because the formula has matted her fur down. And the spots on the floor where Sadie tried to lick up the powder required me to get on my hands and knees and scrape. Even after doing that, sweeping and mopping, parts of the floor are still sticky. So before 7:00 this morning I had vaccuumed, swept and mopped the entire house. And I was not in the most pleasant of moods. Yesterday at the doctor's office, our ped. told us we needed to stop feeding Landon in the middle of the night. He should be sleeping all night by now. Because we knew this would be a rough transition, we put him in the pack and play in our bathroom. Well, after an hour of him screaming, we caved and gave him a bottle at 2:00. So, I was already sleep deprived and sweeping and mopping are not my favortie ways to wake up.

Then, as we're getting ready this morning, I realize that I can't find my wedding ring anywhere. I started to panic because I knew I left it in the kids bathroom last night when I got ready for bed. I was afraid it got knocked in the trash, so I dug out the trash bag, which was already at the curb, and brought it in and went through it piece by nasty piece. So gross. And no ring. I asked Tia if she knew where it was, but of course she had no idea what I was saying - I really wish she'd start talking more! When Sloan came home, I asked him if he had seen it and he nodded his head yes.

"Where is it?" I asked.
He calmly walked into the living room and lifted up the ottoman and pulled out my ring. "Why is my ring under there?" I asked, so relieved that it wasn't lost forever.
"I was being a pirate and that was my buried treasure," Sloan said.
It's been one of those days...

Immunization Woes, Part 3...movin' right along

We had our appointment today for Landon's 4 month check up. First of all, I must say that my kids are not afraid to gain weight. He is 18 pounds(97%) and 26.5(95%) inches long! He's a beast.

I was very nervous about bringing up the immunization chat with my doctor, but God is so good and my doctor was so supportive of our concerns and desires! Whew. She understood my concerns regarding the hepititus B shot and rotovirus (I didn't go into chicken pox today...baby steps). She agreed that we could put those off or not get them at all as long as we understood the battle we would be facing regarding entering school. And she was extremely helpful in coming up with a more spaced out schedule for the rest of the shots! I wasn't sure about Prevnar, but she suggested going ahead and getting that one and putting off polio since the likelihood of of him being exposed to polio is slim to none. I'm not even sure if we want to get that one anyway, so I was good with that. She agreed to do no more than two or three vaccinations at a time and even said that when it came time for MMR, she would attempt to order those vaccines seperately for us! That was a huge shock to me because I didn't know if it was possible to do that. So, instead of getting the MMR, he would get measles first, some time later, mumps, and some time after that, rubella - depending on the availability of the supplies. She said those vaccines are offered seperately only in limited supplies, but when they had them in she would let me know. I may have Tia get those vaccines seperately, since she still needs to get that vaccine as well. And since poor Landon had an ear infection that we didn't know about, she didn't even give him a shot today. She said we could come back in 10 days and we could get one or two of the shots then.

I can't tell you how relieved I am. I feel really good about this. I wasn't against all the vaccines, just the way that they are administered. I'm so grateful to my doctor for listening to my concerns and not making me feel silly or foolish. God is so good because I have been praying about this so much! So the only vaccines Landon will likely be receiving before the age of two are DTaP, Hib and Prevnar. The rest we will either decline, separate or wait on. While I was waiting to go in, I did ask for a copy of Sloan and Tia's records and was shocked to see that they both received the Hep B shot the day they were born! I don't remember anyone even asking me if that was okay, though I'm sure they did (I hope they did). The first time I ever remember being asked about it in the hospital was with Landon, and we actually declined it. It just makes me sick now that I know what I do about vaccines. But, by God's grace, Sloan and Tia appear to be fine and all we can do is pray that there are no future effects. But, I do feel empowered for actually sticking to my guns and doing what I felt was right for my child. Thanks for all your thoughts and support! For those of you who are also wrestling with this, approach your doctor and try to work out a plan that is best for you and your child. It's so worth it!

The kind of mom I am...

My sweet Landon gets scared very easily. Yesterday Sloan was being a "dinosaur" and roaring through the house. Every time he roared, Landon got all teary and his little lip pooched out further and further. Instead of stopping this torture, I took pictures, because as my friend Nicole said in a recent post - that's the kind of mom I am!

This is after the first roar. It's his first plea for help.This is the warning look. He's about to blow.Now I'm starting to feel a little guilty. Maybe I should put a stop to this.Okay, I can't take it anymore. I must stop the torture.

It starts...

I took the kids to the park today to meet Sloan's preschool class. Midway through the playdate, I notice Sloan being chased by two little girls. As we got in the car to leave, I asked Sloan what they were doing.

"I was the prince and they were trying to catch me," he said.

I had instant flashbacks to my elementary school days when my friend Kirsten and I would chase this little boy named Mike around the playground and haul him to the tires where we would each kiss him, then let him go. The thought of little girls doing this thing to my own son sent me into a panic. "Stay away from him - he's mine!" the voice screamed out in my head.

Calmly I looked at him in the rearview mirror, his super blonde hair all windblown and his cheeks rosy from all the running. He's such a little doll. "So, what happened when they caught you?" I asked, fearing his answer.

"They didn't catch me cause I'm too fast for them," he replied with a satisfied smile.

That's right my boy. Don't ever let them catch you!"

"But I think if they did catch me," he said, "they would just throw me in jail cause I'm the bad prince."

Ahhh innocence. I wish it would stay this way forever, but I'll gladly take it for now.

He stumped me

Yesterday we were driving and listening to Selah, because I'm a Selah freak, and the song "It is Well with My Soul" came on. This is the conversation that Sloan and I had:

Sloan: "Hey Mom? What is a soul?"
Me: "It's your spirit."
Sloan: "Oh...What's a spirit?"
Me: "Uhhh...It's - the, uh, part of you that, ummm, con-connects with God." (yes, it was that painful for me to figure out an answer to this question)
Sloan: "OOOHHHH. How does a spirit connect with God?"
Me: *sigh* "Well, your spirit wants to talk with God and sing praises to Him, so if you let it do that, then you connect with God." I realize at this point I am treading the theological waters and beginning to sink.
Sloan: (thinks for a moment) "What does a spirit look like?"
Me: "Well-"
Sloan: "Hey look, it's a car transporter!"
Me: "Yeah, look. How many cars does it have on it?" And this is where the conversation ends. *sigh of relief*

I will encourage Sloan to bring this topic back up with his daddy at some point.

Immunization Woes, Part 2

Since my last post on my concerns regarding immunizations, Lee and I have done a lot of reading and research regarding childhood vaccinations and the mounting concern surrounding them. I have hesitated to post about this because I have not wanted to seem like I'm trying to persuade people to feel the same way I do. But, I am interested in hearing what others think so I will be posting a slightly edited version of what we're thinking. A couple of weeks ago, I bought a very informative and interesting book that I would actually recommend anyone read, even if your child has already received all of his or her vaccinations. It's called, "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations." I like this book because she presents the issue from an even ground without being overly radical either way. She gives you all the information regarding every vaccination and essentially leaves it up to you, as the parent, to decide what's best for your child. The first half of the book goes into the specifics of all the controversies and statistics regarding vaccinations. Reading that information literally made me sick to my stomach and I was all ready to decline all vaccincations for Landon. But the second half of the book tells you about the history of the vaccines, why they were introduced, the consequneces of the diseases that they are meant to prevent and other information that gave me a much clearer picture of what they are for. This half of the book also calmed my spirit. That's not to say that I don't regret doing this research sooner and being more aware when Sloan and Tia were born.
The thing that stuck out to me the most is the fact that while there is certainly no proof that vaccinations have caused the incidences of autism and countless autoimmune disorders to increase so dramatically, there is definately evidence that there could be some potential for harm in them. Proof cannot be found if no one is looking for it. And that's what concerns me. No one can question or doubt the good that vaccinations have done. When I read how nasty diseases like polio and pertussis and diptheria, etc...are, I definately see the benefits of working to prevent them. The problem, however, is that I think the medical community, the CDC and the governments are now taking it a step too far in requiring so many vaccinations in such a short period of time for every child, regardless of their genetic makeup. This is where most of my concern lies.
As for Lee and I, we have decided that there are several vaccines that we are going to decline altogether for Landon. What I'm realizing now is that I have very ignorantly gone about this whole procedure from the beginning. It never crossed my mind until I read this book what vaccinations actually were. It never even occurred to me that they were actually injecting my children with these diseases so that they could build an immunity. That's how ignorant I was about the whole process. And I had no idea what most of the diseases were before now. Did you know that hepatitus B, while undoubtably a nasty, wicked disease, is only transmitted through IV drug use and sexual activity (or from mother to child during birth if the mother has it)? I didn't know this! So why are we all being told that our children need to have this injection before they even leave the hospital? This makes little sense to me. There are others that we will be declining and I would be happy to share those with anyone who's interested and why we've made that choice. I don't want to share it all here because I believe it's a personal decision and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable or bad if they don't feel the same way that we do.
I don't fault anyone who decides to vaccinate their children. I don't fault our pediatrician for recommending and giving the vaccinations to my children. I do, however, fault the CDC, FDA and government for mandating them and thereby stripping our rights as parents to decide what is best for our children. And I fault myself for not being more aware earlier.
What we've decided to do at this point is continue to receive several of the major vaccinations, but at a different rate. When I looked back at Landon's 2 month record, I was sickened to see that he got 8 vaccinations in that one day! 8! They were combined into 3 shots and one drink. It's these over-combinations that are causing the most contrversy. It's not that the vaccinations in and of themselves are necessarily terrible. But giving that many at one time to a child whose immune system is not ready to combat against it is dangerous. No one tells you that. So we've decided that we want him to have no more than 2-3 vaccinations at one time. Which means if they want to give him the DTaP, then that's the only shot we want Landon to have that day. We'll go back a month later to receive Hib and Polio. We will also be waiting until he's older for some of the others that we're still on the fence about.
Anyway, I take Landon to the ped. next week and I am dreading the conversation I will be having with her. I do not like to rock the boat. I don't like to confront people or be controversial. I do not want her to feel that I am questioning her judgement as a doctor because I'm not at all. I like our pediatrician and have been very satisfied with the care our children have received. But ultimately, what I've realized is that these are my children and it's my responsibility to look out for their well being. For some reason, I feel very strongly that Landon needs us to protect him this way. I have to go with my gut on this.
I know that to enter school there are federal mandates that require all these injections, but there are exemptions that the state of Missouri allows and we are exploring those. We're still navigating these waters. We will see what happens. If nothing else, we may end up getting all the vaccinations, but not until Landon is much older. But if it's possible there are 3 that we will definately avoid, and two more that we're not sure about. Sometimes I wish I would have never opened this can of worms becuase ignorance truly is bliss!
I hope I've not made anyone uncomfortable by talking about this. We each have to make the decisions that are best for our own families. I have no problem with people who choose to vaccinate their own children. That's your call to make, not mine. But I would love prayer for Lee and I as we discuss this with our doctor. If she is not willing to meet us where we are with this, then we have another doctor lined up. He is a doctor of Homeopathy (and also an M.D.) here in St. Louis. I had a consultation with him this morning and really like him. So we'll see what happens. Sorry this is so long. It's been a strange journey to go through. Thanks for listening with your eyes!

Weather, FABULOUS!

I am officially in a good mood. In fact, I believe I am borderline giddy. The weather is spectacular and as soon as I finish this post I will be heading out to enjoy it - and to trim the bushes. See? Even yard work sounds fun today. Sloan is at school late today, both little kids are napping. I've already worked out, showered, run a couple of errands and straightened the house. I've not done laundry because, like I said, I'm in a good mood. I don't want to spoil it. I love spring! So before I finish, I leave you with a couple more pictures. Happy Spring!

The Brothers Stuart - in matching shirts. I'm a dork.

The Sweetness that is Tia

Cuteness

Three Times the Love!Yeah, I'm cute. Go on...say it!
Tia in her first nightgown. She looks so big and so sweet!
Landon had ceral for the first time tonight and he was an awesome eater! The first time I gave Sloan cereal, he cried the whole time and spit most of it out. I honestly have no recollection of the first time I gave Tia cereal. That's very sad. But Landon ate the whole bowl and I bet he swallowed 90% of it! He's a cereal champ!

Here he is, trying to figure out exactly what I'm putting in his mouth!
Whatever it was, it was good!

Seriously...these are the cutest kids in the world!

Earthquake

Lee got up this morning to feed Landon about 4:30. I got up to use the bathroom and just as I laid back down the bed started shaking. We have a punching bag hanging in the basement underneath our room and I could hear it swinging. My first thought was why in the world is Lee punching this early in the morning? But I realized that it was swinging pretty hard. Then I noticed the windows rattling, and since our bed is on wood floors, it was sliding away from the wall. That's when I got nervous. I hopped out of bed and met Lee in the door jamb of our room. He handed me Landon and went to look out the window. By this time the shaking had stopped. We kept watching our neighbor's houses to see if anyone turned their lights on, but no one seemed to be awake. We turned on the TV and no one was talking about it, so we started to think we were either crazy or something was seriously wrong with our furnace.

Finally, a little before 5, they came on and confirmed that there had been a 5.4 (now it's a 5.2) earthquake 127 miles east of us! That's crazy. I have a new respect for the power of earthquakes. Not that I didn't respect it before, I just didn't think about it. Anyway, it was kind of comical. It really scared us, Lee in particular. After he handed me Landon, he changed his clothes and got all dressed. For what, it's hard to say. He looked like he was ready to go into hand to hand combat with Mother Nature. When we finally crawled back in bed we were both laughing - mostly at Lee. "I feel invicible!" he said. Then, of course, we came up with a better course of action should we ever experience a more powerful earthquake. In case you're wondering, Lee will grab the little ones and I'll grab Sloan. Likely we'll never have to deal with that, but it's nice to feel prepared.

Luckily Sloan didn't really notice it. He did come out of his room and asked what it was, then went back to sleep pretty quickly. This morning we were talking about it and he remembered seeing this movie about earthquakes and volcanoes (it's that really ridiculous Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche movie set in California). To dispel any fears, we talked about how God created the earth to cry out to Him and praise Him and how the rocks must have been feeling full of praise so they had to clap together in joy. That seemed to satisfy him. So there you have it. We experienced the midwest earthquake. Crazy!

update: we just had an aftershock that we totally felt! I was in the basement doing laundry and noticed the clothes shaking. Sloan was upstairs watching a movie and starting yelling that the earth was shaking again. It wasn't as strong as the first one, but we could feel it. I clicked over to the news and they confirmed that we'd just experienced a pretty noticable shake, likely related to this mornings! This is wild!

He loves me

This morning, Sloan came up to me radomly and threw his arms around my neck.

"I love you, mommy," he said. "You're my favorite mommy." Then he kissed my cheek and took off to play, leaving me in a puddle on the floor.

Isn't it interesting how quickly "mommy guilt" can take over us? From the second our children are born, we mother's are plagued with fears that we aren't doing things right. We should have fed them an hour sooner, we should have let them sleep longer, we should have kept them in bed with us, etc... I don't know a single mother who hasn't felt guilty or bad about something they've done. Yet, ultimately, we all do the best that we know how and we all have to learn along the way. There are times that I feel like an utter failure as a mom. But then, just when I feel like I can't go on anymore, Sloan throws his arms around me, or Tia cuddles up on my lap and I realize that my kids are awesome, they're healthy (relatively), they're sweet (mostly), they're smart (brilliant) and they love me. Maybe I'm not that bad after all.

My son the wanderer

Sloan is in such a bad habit lately of walking away from home and going to to our neighbor's house to "talk." Really what the little mooch wants is some kind of treat, which she usually doles out readily because she's very sweet and is a grandma so her pantry is stocked. It's rather infuriating though because I don't want my kid to be that pesky neighborhood kid that everyone dreads. Today he went over to our other neighbor's house and asked if he could come in and play. I couldn't find him and was walking all over the place calling his name. It freaked me out and infuriated me. There are people building a house behind us so I started fearing that someone may have snatched him away. When he finally came traipsing out their back door, I was livid. I made him come inside, then when he protested further discipline was much needed. I'm having a hard time getting him to understand that it's annoying for him to just walk into other people's yards. I'm also trying to get him to understand that he doesn't need to just go up to any stranger and befriend them. It's hard to teach a kid like Sloan that because part of what makes him Sloan is his extreme friendliness and outgoing nature. I love that about him so I don't want to break that spirit. I do, however, want him to be more careful. I am fully confident that if someone came up to Sloan and told him they had candy or a puppy somewhere that he would follow them. That scares me to death. I'm not sure how to teach that caution. Any suggestions?

Broaching a no-no topic

So, I read on my dear friend Tiffany's blog not long ago that there are three topics one should avoid - sex, religion and politics. Well, I'm diving in folks. Let's talk about politics for a moment shall we? I am admittedly fairly uninterested in politics. That's not to say that I don't take seriously my right to vote for those who I think are going to best meet the needs of my family and our country. But when I start trying to understand the political world, I must say I get pretty overwhelmed, and also pretty annoyed. I especially get tired of it all during presidential election years. Is it just me or are most politicians a bunch of overgrown toddlers all kicking and screaming every time they don't get their way? This whole back and forth stuff between Obama and Clinton (which, unfortunately, McCain has now joined) is ridiculous. Hillary Clinton is one prissy hip pop and eyeroll away from "I told you so," and Obama is treading perilously close to "I know you are but what am I." And now McCain is getting into the back and forth game throwing out his own barbs. Is there no one out there who is above all this? These people, one of whom will be our future leader, are not all that different from Sloan and Tia. They just have a vocabulary that's further expanded than "uh-huh," and "uh-uh." Seriously, let's grow up and be adults here. Politics seems to have become more of what the other guy did wrong, and less of how we can move forward as a country. For the last eight years, the democrats in Washington have been practically on their stomachs, kicking and screaming, looking for every way possible to say "That's not fair!" Don't get me wrong, either. The Republicans have not exactly stepped up to the plate as the bigger "Person" either. When the Dems took the House, the Republicans walked around with their lower lips sticking out and chin's trembling. And I fully expect them to take on the role of pouter if a Democrat takes office. I guess I'm just tired of it. It's sad that the very people we are supposed to be entrusting our well being as a country to are the very people that we tend to distrust the most.
Now I don't think that politicians do everything wrong. I think they do a lot of things right...and a lot of things wrong. Obviously we need leaders to step up and get things done. And most politicians do a fair job of that. Mostly I'm just tired of the immaturity in Washington. I put up with my kids bickering all day long, so forgive me if the last thing I want to do is sit and watch a candidate give one more "tattle tale" speech. How about telling us what you're going to do and stop telling us what the other guy's not going to do? And while you're at it, don't make promises you can't keep.
When I was in eigth grade, I attended Crestview Jr. High, which at that time was a three year Jr. High. In the girl's bathrooms at Crestview, the toilet paper holders were really annoying (I'm going somewhere with this, I promise). They were just a long peice of metal that the janitors shoved a roll of toilet paper on (and I use the word paper in an almost completely literal sense - that was rough stuff!) So you couldn't just pull down on the roll to get toilet paper off, you had to unravel it from around the bar, and the stuff was so thin that you needed a lot of it, so it was a real hassle to go to the bathroom! Anyway, the ninth grader elected school president that year, Tracy whatsherface, told us all in her campaign speech that she would make sure, if we elected her president, that all of those toilet paper holders would be replaced. Well of course every girl in the school voted for her and she won. And I never really saw or heard from her again. And I feel quite certain that were I to walk into Crestview Middle School today, those awful toilet paper holders would still be there. Sometimes that's how I feel about politicians. They are promising us better holders, and perhaps even a little 2 ply, yet we're still wiping with the same course hard paper that we have to unroll square by square. Do I sound bitter? I'm not bitter. I know many politicians do a lot of wonderful things. And, while I haven't agreed with everything President Bush has done, I have respected him for sticking to his guns and doing what he felt needed to be done. Perhaps he could have been a little more teachable in some areas, but you have to give the guy credit for doing what he said he'd do. Okay, you don't have to give him credit. Whew. I'm probably really stepping in it now huh? The point of this is that I am mostly just tired of the fighting. I don't even know what half of them are talking about anymore because all they're doing is trying to smear the next guy. I find it difficult to make an informed decision on who would be best for our country when I can't see past the name calling and finger pointing. So there we have it. You don't have to agree with me. I won't be offended and I hope I didn't offend. This is my personal opinion that's been brewing because every time I go to the gym, CNN or FOX News is on and I am stuck watching this stuff while I work out. And now you can all breath a sigh of relief because I am finished with this little rant. From now on, I'll try to stay in the safe zone and stick to stories about the kids. But I won't make any promises.

Good weekend, bad night

Well, we had a lovely weekend, although it was ridiculously cold up here! Lee went to Branson for the weekend with his dad and brothers and his mom came to St. Louis to stay with me and the kids - and I am so glad she was here! It's just so nice to have an extra set of hands, you know? Especially when those hands are so gifted at the laundry :)! I am very grateful that she was here. It gave the kids and I a chance to have more fun. Sloan, Tia and I went to Monkey Joe's on Friday, which, if you've never been, you should go. Super fun! Then I took them to this kids health expo on Sat. morning, which was slightly disappointing but oh well. But all in all, it was a great weekend. I even got to go on a date with my dad Friday night, which was so fun! We never get to go out just the two of us, so it was nice to just be with him and be able to talk. We went to Brandt's down on the Loop - another great place. They had live music, an old jazz group, that was fabulous! So, yay for fun weekends. Oh, and I found one toy that I do believe may be worse than the aforementioned talking bird from Hades... a kazoo! The kids both got one at the Expo this weekend and they're awful. I may accidentally step on them today...
The bad night in the title refers to last night. Landon seems to have regressed in his sleeping. Not so fun. He got a cold and was sleeping awesome in his car seat, and now won't go back to the crib. He was up twice last night and the second time we attempted the cry it out trick, which did not work so well. So, I've been up since 4:30 and I'm feeling it right now! Luckily naps are coming soon!!!

Literal Art and the worst toy ever created

So Sloan came home from school with this masterpiece the other day. He was very proud of it. I placed it in the window in our kitchen. When Lee came home he looked at it told Sloan how cool it was. "What is it? What does it represent?" he asked.

"It's just bread and goldfish," Sloan responded, looking up at Lee as if he had just sprouted a second head.

Riiiight. So, it's clearly not abstract art.

In other Lee stories (I post these with his permission), the other night Sloan and Tia were running around the house after their bath. They like to run "in their nakeds" as Sloan says. Apparently Sloan tripped and twisted his foot. He cried pretty hard and it was his "I'm really hurt" cry as opposed to the "I'm just making noise" cry. So Lee spent some time putting pressure on the foot and turning it to make sure there wasn't any real damage. Then, in what was an apparent attempt to be funny gone terribly awry, Lee told Sloan to stand on his feet, then reach down and touch his toes. When Sloan reached down, Lee pushed him. He was hoping to make Sloan laugh and forget about his pain. Instead, Sloan fell on his face and twisted his wrist underneath him. So now the concern was not whether he had broken his foot, but his wrist. Sheesh. Boys (eyeroll).

Then, yesterday Lee came home for work all bright eyed and excited.

"Where are the kids?" he asked. "I've got a surprise for them."

I was in the nursery trying to clean out the closets and drawers of all the clothes that no longer fit. I heard Lee tell the kids to sit down on the couch and close their eyes.

"Now, this is something for you guys to share."

At this point, my heart fell slightly because my kids and sharing do not mix well. Then, I heard a bag crinkling and Lee told the kids to open their eyes. This is what I hear.

"Oh boy! Thanks dad! It's a talking parrot!"

At this point I almost cried and let me tell you why. When we go to my parents condo, there is a man that lives down there that is precious and he loves kids. Every time we come, he brings this fake, talking parrot that repeats everything you say to Sloan to play with. After about ten minutes of Sloan screaming at the parrot and it screaming back at him, I generally feel a migraine coming on. That bird always mysteriously ends up on the very highest shelf, where he stays until we leave and have to give it back to Mr. Neal. This is the exact bird toy that Lee bought for the kids. It's like a cruel joke. When he came in the bedroom he was all smiles.

"They love it!" he said.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked. "Have I done something to offend you in any way?"

It was at this point that he realized what he had done. He started laughing, and God love me, I tried to laugh with him, I really did. Then he offered a mild apology. "It's just so fun to shop at Cracker Barrell," he said. So now, as I post this, Sloan and Tia are in the basement screaming at the top of their lungs at the parrot and laughing hysterically as it screams back at them. And I am secretly plotting revenge on my husband.

I hate thunder

I don't think any of my kids are going to nap today because of the thunder. That does not make for a happy mama.

Tia Tales and other weekend highlights

Well, it's been quite awhile since I have posted a tale of my crazy daughter. So here we go. Saturday was gorgeous here! The first day that I feel like I could truly call a perfect day. So, late that afternoon, we decided to take the kids to the park for the first time in months. Lee had to run through Fed Ex on the way, so I gave the kids some cereal to munch on in the car and off we went. At Fed Ex, the kids and I sat in the car and waited on Lee. They were happily chomping on their Gorilla Munch (think Kix, only organic) and I was reminiscing as I listened to Micael Jackson on my MP3 Player. Then I heard Tia.

"Mama, Mama."

I looked back and she was pointing at her nose (can you tell where I'm going with this?) Because she's had a cold, I reached back and did the mom pinch (you know squeezing as much snot out of her nose as I can, then wiping it somewhere discreet, like her pants. Gross...I know.) But when I did that I noticed a knot in her nose. Yep. You guessed. She had shoved a piece of Gorilla Munch all the way up her nose. It was now lodged in the skinny part of her nasal passage. Lovely. So, I stuck my pinky up there and tried to get it out. All that happened was blood began pouring out of her nose. Literally, a steady stream of blood. Well, at this point Sloan is quite freaking out. He's not so tough when it comes to blood. Neither am I. I also have nothing in my car to wipe it up with, so I jump out of the car and tear into Fed Ex, my hands covered in blood saying in as calm and cool a voice as I can muster up, "Do you guys have any Kleenex or paper towel?" Lee pretends not to know me. I see some paper towel on a little rack and grab a few and run back out to the car. Tia has now smeared blood all over her face and up to her elbow. Sloan is near comatose from his severe freaking out and I'm giggling because only Tia could do this. Praise God she just recently figured out how to blow her nose. After a couple of blows, the now soggy piece of Gorilla Munch dislodged itself and I was able to get the bleeding to stop. Then I had to do the spit and wipe all over her face to get her cleaned up. Meanwhile, she's just looking around like "What's the big deal?" We then spent a significant amount of time talking about why we do not put anything in our noses.

In other news, Lee completed the marathon relay yesterday. You'll notice that I did not include myself in that, because I realized not long ago that there was absolutely no way that I was going to manage to pull that run off. And my friend Amy knew someone who wanted to take my place so I gladly reliquished my spot knowing that it was much less shameful to back out ahead of time than to have to stop and walk during the race. But I am proud of Lee. And a little annoyed at how good of an athlete he is. He hardly trained at all, but still managed to go out and run 6.4 miles in 54.5 minutes! That's crazy. And he was hurting! But he made it and wants to do it again.

The kids and I did drive downtown to watch him, which, incidentally, I deserve a friggin' medal for managing to get all three kids downtown, park, find Lee, watch the race, drive them by the Arch, and get home all without losing my patience or getting lost. It was actually fun! A quick Sloan story, as we were walking back to our car, we passed a man who had run in the race...in about as tight of lycra pants as one can find. They were a deep blue with large polka dots all over them and they left nothing to the imagination. As we're passing, Sloan says - loudly - "Wow, mom. He has on funny pants. I could see his booty and everything!" Nice. The above picture is of all of us after Lee and his team finished. And finally, I'm posting a picture of Landon and all his chubbiness. He's so cute and fun these days. Very smily and happy. He's got another cold too, poor little guy, and it stinks because he was just getting good at sleeping in his bed and it's back to the car seat. Oh well. Bye for now, blog world!

Another sign of spring...which leads me to:

My five most absurd fears. I was just downstairs working on some laundry and I saw it... lurking in the corner, it's beady eyes fixed on me, waiting to pounce and drive me to an early grave. That's right, it was a cricket. Now before you think poorly of me that I would be so terribly frightened of a cricket, you must know that the cricket's that lurk in our home are not your ordinary, run of the mill crickets. We get what are called Cave crickets and if you look at that picture you will understand how I nearly kill myself trying to get away from one of those suckers. Not only do they look like they could kill you, they also jump like ten feet in the air (that may be slightly exaggerated, but not by much). Also, when I attended Baylor, every fall the crickets seemed to descend upon Waco, filling every crevice with their creey, crunchy bodies. Literally, crickets would fall from the sky. It was like a plague. It was there that this absurd fear was birthed.
2. I am terrifed of airplane bathrooms. Someone once told me that they heard an airplane bathroom fell out of a plane one time. That story has always stuck with me and every time I go into the bathroom on a airplane, my heart starts racing, my hands shake, and I try and go and get out as fast as I can. I usually unlock the bathroom door and flush just as I'm leaving because I figure that if the bathroom's going to disconnect itself from the plane, it will do so due to the sucking motion of the flush. The absurdity of this fear should need no explanation. I don't even think that story I heard was true - I mean, it's not like the bathrooms are just stuck precariously on the side of airplanes. Still, I can't help but think of how awful a death that would be. Plummeting to the ground with my pants around my ankles. Valid or not, I'm not taking chances.
3. Getting eaten by a shark. This is actually not that absurd considering how often we spend time in the ocean, but the likelihood of it actually happening is still quite low. Still, I get very nervous, particularly when I'm in an ocean where I can't see through the water.
4. Getting pregnant again and it being more than one baby. Need I say more?
5. Losing my hair. That's a silly thing to fear, but I have a really big head and I also have a couple of moles on my head. I would look weird without hair.
As I said, these are my most absurd fears. Some fears are reasonable, like something happening to the kids or Lee, spiders, etc...But these are the things that when I sit back and think about it, I have to laugh at how ridiculous it is to be scared of such nonsense. Nonetheless, I am scared - no, scratch that...I am petrified of these five things. I'm also not going back downstairs until Lee gets home and tracks down that cricket. It's the cricket or me and if push comes to shove, he can have the basement.

Potties and Revolving Doors

You would think that since I have successfuly potty trained one human being, I would have a little confidence in my ability to potty train a second. Wrong! I feel like I'm walking around with two left feet, stumbling over myself to figure out what on earth to do with poor Tia. To train or not to train...that really is the question. On the one hand, I think that she's fairly ready, though I think she may still be a little young. And the youth factor is what's getting me. Well, that and the fact that I am gulumping around the house like a moose trying to take her to the bathroom but not timing it right at all. I think this is just poor timing for me, not necessarily her. With Sloan still in school and it still be kind of cold out, a lot more is required of me. She gets cold without pants on, or she wants to go outside and play so I have to bundle her up, which makes accidents even more of a hassle. Plus, my mom is out of town for two weeks which means I have no help. I really need a couple of days alone with Tia. We need Potty Boot Camp! So, my thought was that I would just put her in pull ups but really talk them up like they're underwear and still take her to the bathroom but not have to deal with the mess if our timing's off. I guess that's fine for now, but it's not very effective training. Oh well. My one solice is that it will not be like this forever right? Right?
I have come to the conclusion, however, that I will likely never get a good night's sleep again. Apparently, our bedroom has a revolving door and it appears our children like to come through it at all hours of the night (or cry out for us to come to them). A typical night for us usually includes Landon getting up once to eat, Sloan getting up once for any plethora of reasons (from being scared to needing more light to his toe hurting...that's right his toe hurting. This is actually one of his more frequent middle of the night complaints.), and Tia generally waking up at the crack of dawn and waking up at least one of her brothers in the process. Last night we even got the joy off a tumble out of bed. We heard this crash about 10:00 and it scared us both. We went running into the nursery and found Tia standing in a daze next to her bed. Now she has a toddler bed so I'm not sure how she managed to fall such a short distance and make such a loud noise. Luckily she's like super sleeper and went right back to bed. And Landon didn't wake up, which was a huge praise. So if you see me and I look tired...it's because I am. But, on a happier note, it's beginning to look a lot like spring! The trees are budding, the grass is green and my eyes are running! Woohoo! I can't wait for warmer weather!!!

Potty Training, Day 1

I decided to try and start potty training Tia today. I'm seriously questioning that decision now, though. The problem is not that she is not ready, but that I'm not. It's much more difficult to do when I'm dealing with two others. Sloan was so easy but I was able to focus on that and nothing else for as long as it took to get it done. He was also significantly older than she is right now. But, she seems pretty ready. And she's so dang independent that I'm tired of fighting her to put her diaper on. At least with underwear she can dress herself. Tia was a baby when I potty trained Sloan and she slept all the time. So I could focus on him and stay home and really be alert and ready all the time. I don't have that luxury with Tia. I think she's only peed in the toilet once today. Every other time it's been on the floor. This is overwhelming. I'll give it a few more days, then we may have to go back to pull ups for a little while longer. Blah.