From: Your Wife
Re: Two Liter soda bottles and other containers with lids.
My dear, sweet husband. You are a picture of strength. Seriously, you've been working out and it shows - you look fantastic. You look every bit the Greek god. You are chisled from stone. Your strength knows no bounds and I am proud to be your wife.
I love that you are there for me when I need you. I know that at any moment, should I be overwhelmed by, say, a pickle jar, you will swoop to my side, your hair windblown, your muscles flexed and glistening and you will remove the lid with nothing but your thumb and pointer finger because you are just. so. strong. I am the damsel in distress and you, my dear man, are my superhero.
I have but one request, O Ye picture of strength. When you put the tops back on the two liter bottles of Sprite or when you tighten the lids of the kids sippy cups, please remember that us mortals do not possess your strength and try not to tighten them with the force of ten thousand warriors. Thanks so much.
In closing, when you come home today, I will need you to open the bottle of Sprite that you so deftly closed last night. I love you!