Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Another sign of spring...which leads me to:

My five most absurd fears. I was just downstairs working on some laundry and I saw it... lurking in the corner, it's beady eyes fixed on me, waiting to pounce and drive me to an early grave. That's right, it was a cricket. Now before you think poorly of me that I would be so terribly frightened of a cricket, you must know that the cricket's that lurk in our home are not your ordinary, run of the mill crickets. We get what are called Cave crickets and if you look at that picture you will understand how I nearly kill myself trying to get away from one of those suckers. Not only do they look like they could kill you, they also jump like ten feet in the air (that may be slightly exaggerated, but not by much). Also, when I attended Baylor, every fall the crickets seemed to descend upon Waco, filling every crevice with their creey, crunchy bodies. Literally, crickets would fall from the sky. It was like a plague. It was there that this absurd fear was birthed.
2. I am terrifed of airplane bathrooms. Someone once told me that they heard an airplane bathroom fell out of a plane one time. That story has always stuck with me and every time I go into the bathroom on a airplane, my heart starts racing, my hands shake, and I try and go and get out as fast as I can. I usually unlock the bathroom door and flush just as I'm leaving because I figure that if the bathroom's going to disconnect itself from the plane, it will do so due to the sucking motion of the flush. The absurdity of this fear should need no explanation. I don't even think that story I heard was true - I mean, it's not like the bathrooms are just stuck precariously on the side of airplanes. Still, I can't help but think of how awful a death that would be. Plummeting to the ground with my pants around my ankles. Valid or not, I'm not taking chances.
3. Getting eaten by a shark. This is actually not that absurd considering how often we spend time in the ocean, but the likelihood of it actually happening is still quite low. Still, I get very nervous, particularly when I'm in an ocean where I can't see through the water.
4. Getting pregnant again and it being more than one baby. Need I say more?
5. Losing my hair. That's a silly thing to fear, but I have a really big head and I also have a couple of moles on my head. I would look weird without hair.
As I said, these are my most absurd fears. Some fears are reasonable, like something happening to the kids or Lee, spiders, etc...But these are the things that when I sit back and think about it, I have to laugh at how ridiculous it is to be scared of such nonsense. Nonetheless, I am scared - no, scratch that...I am petrified of these five things. I'm also not going back downstairs until Lee gets home and tracks down that cricket. It's the cricket or me and if push comes to shove, he can have the basement.


Anonymous said...

Right with ya on #4.

So glad you identified the crickets we have in the basement. Oh, they freak me out BAD every spring. I hate them with a passion.

JILLIAN said...

You are so funny. How well I remember the horrible Waco cricket plagues. You couldn't even get into stores without jumping, and then they were hopping all over everywhere. I'm getting the creeps just thinking about it. I hope Lee has killed that nasty guy by now. EEEEWWW!!!

Steph R. said...

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bugs & sunshine said...

good for the baby or not, i'm going to have to take 2 tylenol pm's to get to sleep tonight after pondering these new things. on a different note, i bet those ginormous cricket's do a mean load of laundry for their landlords!