I hit an all time low last night. I was so exhausted from the endless day (see previous post). In addition to the kid's crazy antics, they also fought all. day. long. I was worn out by 8:00. So while Lee put Sloan to bed, I turned on the TV while folding about 15 loads of laundry. Guess what? There's nothing on TV on Tuesday nights. So, going against my better judgement, I allowed myself to get sucked into an E! True Hollywood Story about the Kardashian family. And when that went off, I started watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. There it is...my confession of the day. And, if I'm being honest, I should say that I was actually enjoying watching this show. Sorry to any of you who may enjoy. Don't mean to dis (diss?), but honestly, what a ridiculous show!
Lee came in around 9:15 and saw me laying near comatose on the couch, my brain almost visibly turning to mush. "What are you watching?" he asked. Through my stupor, I could sense the laughter in his voice. I lifted the remote. "Please help me," I said. Lee gladly took it out of my hand and changed the channel, saving me from further subjecting myself to that nonsence. I went to bed shortly after that, hoping and praying for a better day.
Today started off early yet again, with me in a crappy mood, yet again. By about 7:30 this morning, I realized that I needed to get over myself and move on. So my kids get up early - big deal. I realized that it actually makes the morning run much smoother. We are not rushed at all. We take our time getting ready and eating breakfast - and we're still all dressed and ready to go by 8:00, which gives the kids some play time before school. This is a good thing. If I got my lazy butt in bed before 10:30 or 11:00 every night, the early mornings would probably be less painful. So that's my new goal. Go to bed earlier and wake up happier. Oh, and I'm praying that the Lord would give me joy in my serving, because I'm not feeling joyful these days - I'm feeling annoyed. I'm tired and selfish and I just want to crawl into bed and be left alone. But, that's not an option so I'm choosing to grow up, accept the strength of the Lord and quit relying on my own, be a little more disciplined in my life and enjoy serving my family. We'll see how the next few days go since Lee is out of town until Friday night.