10 Ways to ensure your child goes from sick to healthy to sick again

10. When you receive an email from your child's school informing you of a case of influenza in his class, blow it off and assume that due to your stellar parenting your child will not be affected.

9. When your child wakes up in the middle of the night and feels warm, assume that it is because he was wrapped up too tight in his fuzzy Lightening McQueen blanket.

8. When your child wakes up a second time in the middle of the night, this time blazing hot, give him Tylenol and let him sleep with you.

7. After a full 24 hours of running a high temp, your husband will want to take the child to the ER. Calmly talk him out of this as you know that it's not all that atypical for kids to run temps for this long.

6. An hour after talking your husband out of taking the child to the ER, check his temp and smile as he's finally fever free for the first time.  Feel smug.

5. When your second child spikes a temp, sigh and realize that you're in it for the long haul now. At least child number one is still fever free.

4. When child one spikes a temp again, chalk it up to too much activity and put him down for a long nap.

3. Attend a belated Christmas party and take child number one with you, who's been begging to go to the party for several days.  Leave a very sick child 2 home with daddy.  At the party, find out that the influenza case at school involved a high fever for several days and wheezing.  Notice that child one is now wheezing.

2. Take child one home and take his temp, which is now resting at around 103.  Finally give in and let your husband take him to the ER (wishing all the while that you would have decided to do this earlier so they could go to the Urgent Care center which is a much lower copay). This is, after all, the best way to ensure that he will get well as his fever will break almost as soon as he walks into the waiting room.  After a couple of good pats on the back, said child should give a good cough, which will stop the wheezing.   So now you are out $75.00 and your kid is fine. Works like a charm.

1. Wake up the next morning and realize that when you told your sick child you wished you could take the sickness from him, you didn't actually mean you wanted the sickness. Sigh, drag yourself out of bed and makes friends with NyQuil because you've got a long couple of days ahead of you.